(Yorg the Uncertain, Attorney of Adair, Iowa and Eater of Totino's Microwave Pizzas.)
My journey through eastern Nebraska and over the state line into Iowa was uneventful. My first stop in the Buckeye State was a small town known by the name of Adair. Adair is a town famous for being one of the last known remaining North American Viking settlements. Sadly Vikings of today do not resemble the blonde haired barrel chested men of yore that sailed the oceans battling sea serpents and who, it is widely believed by some experts, were the first to discover the land that would come to be called America.
Modern Vikings sport Bluetoother wireless headsets and instant message their buddies about meeting up at the local mead hall for a drink and maybe some pillaging afterwards. Pillaging still rates highly as a Viking hobby, along with disembowling, skirmishing, and Monopoly. Unfortunately the Vikings of Adair have grown fearful of interferences of the outside world and upon hearing the righteous rumble of my hog, condemned me to imprisonment for the confinement and personal use of a demon.
I was provided a defense attorney, seen pictured above, who provided less than ideal representation throughout the month long trial. It was decided that although no evidence of a demonic presence was found on my person or motorcycle, I should still be imprisoned in a suitable dungeon and/or La Quinta for up to one month's time in order to observe me for any signs of allegiance to Loki the God of Mischief.
I was set free just this morning in time to see the parade and dog show on Yorg's high def television.
Sincerely,
Spooner Jenkins
3 comments:
LOL....Thank you for always making me laugh! They sure don't treat visitors very well, do they?
When you said the Buckeye state, I thought you must be in Ohio. I was going to start listening for that hog of yours to come barreling down the street..
Where is the next stop? I hear deaf Jim is looking for ya!
Hey there Spooner,
You need one of those "Loud pipes save lives" bumper stickers, a message that sets everyones thinking straight. Unlike the wimpy "Share the road with bicycles" stickers.
I am a Nordic too, so I understand Iowans.
You could also try praying to Odin, patron saint of Viking Thunder.
Yours truly,
TL
Cathy,
In their defense I was provided all the horseflesh I could eat as well as a coarse mush they called skause. November being the bloodmonth there was fresh meat everywhere.
TL,
I prayed to Odin but Baldur came and he brought his mom with him. Baldur's cool enough, you know he likes to party, and Frigg is pretty hot but they are both just so dumb. I just ignored them until they left.
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